Full Catastrophe Living or Why won't my body work?!

Darlings,I know I said I was going to talk about my undying love for the movie Chef, but that will have to wait.I've gotta tell you something. Last year, 2015, was a tough year for me. Nothing went terribly wrong, but nothing went terribly right either. I hear that in life sometimes you have years like this. So I chose to indulge all the things that went wrong and forced them to go terribly wrong.My shrink says that I live life to the full catastrophe.Full Catastrophe living. That's what he calls it.I think that last year for whatever reason, I wasn't myself. I should have known. My horoscope forecasted it."For the Pisces 2015 will be a time of intense pressure. The 2015 Pisces horoscope predicts that you will feel a lot of stress from you career and family lives. Because of this, you will put a new value in your romantic life, which can be a source of pleasure and comfort.You may feel overwhelmed this yearPisces, but if you keep focusing on what matters most, you should make it through the year unscathed and confident that things are about to turn around for you.You’ve faced a lot of pressure these past few year Pisces and 2015 is going to be more of the same. You will face struggles in your career and family life and you will also have a hard time maintaining a balance between the two."I don't know if I would believe a horoscope, except that I am a true Pisces. Pisceans love to dream, be it about themselves or about their near and dear ones. They love to dwell in their dream world. They hardly notice any other person, when they are engrossed with their job. They love to create new things and innovate new ideas. They are intellectuals, who set the rules for themselves. They are very sensitive by heart.Pisceans are very lazy. They do not feel any push to stand and do something for themselves. Very often, the Pisceans react tentatively. Decision making troubles them the most. They are oversensitive and this trait often becomes irritating for others. Pisceans are often considered as the escapists, for the simple reason that they always avoid uncanny and problematic situations, where they may have to face troubles.Pisceans are:Emotional: They are emotional and sensitive. The slightest of discord and they will start dropping tears from their eyes. But they are very compassionate and kind-hearted, the one kind, who has mercy for all.Artistic: Creativity is the middle name of the Pisceans. They are born creative and their creativity is beyond any boundary. They can shine if they go into creative fields. They have special interest in music.Honest: Pisceans are sincere, responsible, and honest. If you confer them any responsibility, be it in personal life or professional life, they will never ever disappoint you.Intellectual: Pisceans are intelligent. They are always noticed for their intelligence and insight. Their approach towards life is very positive. They are hard working people in the work place. If they are sure about the goal and they can do anything to achieve it. They are often identified with their hard word and diligence. They often excel in their life, when they blend their creativity with their hard work.Extravagant: Pisceans are wastrel. Whatever they do, they do not know how to limit themselves. They love to indulge in excess. But they want to impress others by their extravagance.Sound familiar? It sure does to me.So yea, last years horoscope turned out to be true. Because 2015 certainly wasn't my favorite year.One of the things that I somehow gave up on last year was working out.Now darlings, as you know, the last time anyone could have even called me thin-ish was a decade ago when I had nothing better to do but workout 3 hours a day and consume all of my calories in the form of cheap red wine and George Forman grilled chicken breasts. I've never really worked out to be thin, because it's just not who I am.That being said, I've always worked out. I've always danced or swam or lifted weights or rowed or played tennis or walked a lot or did pilates or something. ANYTHING.And last year, I kind of just stopped. I stopped working out regularly for the first time since I can remember.Now, this was surely a psychosomatic response of some kind. My body not feeling like it deserved to be taken care of, a brain on overdrive too focused about anything and everything not having to do with taking care of the body in which it's housed.Our brains and our bodies are so interconnected. It's so strange. But really not strange at all.  When you stop treating your mind with respect, it has a hard time allowing your body to treat itself with respect and the cycle continues and on and on it goes.But ultimately I realized that I controlled both my mind and my body and that according to my horoscope (see above) Pisceans are very lazy. They do not feel any push to stand and do something for themselves. (Although apparently Pisceans are NOT lazy in the workplace, go figure) And darlings, I didn't want to give in that easily.And so late last year, I made a commitment to myself. I've committed to sweating everyday.Obviously darlings, for you this is not new news. We've already discussed it.But here's the thing. Taking a year off from taking care of your body apparently has significant repercussions. Sitting in a yoga-ish class last night, I went to engage in a pose and darlings, it wouldn't do it. A simple pose of the body, one that I had done probably a hundred times before.My body wouldn't do it.It was like it forgot.The muscles forgot how to do it.The flexibility that I have taken for granted for so long just wasn't there.And that felt so weird to me.Not being able to run miles and miles after not running for a long period of time ? Sure. I get it.Not being able to understand the beat of a dance class if you've never done it before? Obviously, it's hard to keep up, to keep time, to understand choreography.But not being able to utilize my muscles in a way that I know they have been utilized so many many times in the past was painful. It was sad. And it was self imposed. As I gaze onto 30, I realize that I am both too young for this to be happening and old enough to know better.And so, my darlings, to me turning 30 will hopefully represent a turning point in this life. I want so badly to find balance. And I want this to be the year that I really and truly make an effort to find that balance. The inability to find these muscles that were once so easily accessible is just the tipping point. It's about taking control, about not being lazy and about focusing in on what is right and what is wrong, and moving forward with what is right.Maybe this too is psychosomatic. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe my body is like "can I get a freaking day off!?" But I'm going to live it like it's real. Because that's what I do. I'm a Pisces. I'm impulsive and when I want to do something, I figure out a way to get it done.I wanted to share this stream of consciousness with you darlings, because sometimes it's easy to get down on yourself for things that you've done, or things that you haven't done. It's easy to get down on yourself for not being where you thought you'd be, for not doing what you thought you'd do. But at the end of the day all that really matters is that you're doing what nourishes you. You can give and give and give, but you need to take sometimes too. And you've got to listen - to what's inside of you, what's around you - and figure out how to give yourself what it needs.Apparently there's a lunar eclipse coming this year that is perhaps pushing this soul searching a little bit more than I would have done on my own. The Moon - who knew?!But darlings, enough. It's going to be a good 2016. If only because we're listening more, right?And I feel bad about no recipe yesterday - so I wanted to share one of my faves today. This might be the easiest, most body and soul nourishing recipe in the whole world. I kid you not.Chicken soup for chicken soups sake. INGREDIENTS1 whole chicken, rinsed and salted5 carrots, chunked into 2 in pieces5 ribs of celery, chunked into 2 in pieces2 onions, quartered4 qts. water1 lemon, halved2 tbsp dried rosemary (optional)2 tbsp dried dill (optional)2 bay leavesLots of Salt16 oz of chicken broth  (store bought is fine)METHOD

1. Find largest stock pot in your house.
2. Fill it with all ingredients, yes including that whole raw chicken you've got on your hands!
3. Bring to a boil.
4. Bring heat down to bring liquid to a simmer.
5. Simmer for as long as you can stand it. 4 hours AT least.
6. Taste.
7. Add salt.
8. Simmer.
9. Taste
10. Add salt.
11. Simmer.
12. Taste.
13. PERFECTION.
14. Eat with club crackers and a glass of something delicious in front of your favored bingeworthy show of the moment.

Thanks for listening darlings.xoxolcf