On the Carpet of Red at the Globes of Golden.
EDIT: Before I start talking about frivolous things like red carpets, I wanted to just share my sadness in waking up to the news that David Bowie had left this earth.I think Bowie meant something to everyone. Something different to everyone. That's exactly what he meant to me. From the first time I saw Labyrinth as a kid (thanks Mom!) to the multiple spins of so many albums (Hunky Dory happens to be my favorite), he was a master teacher in the school of "Be whatever you want to be, be whoever you want to be, but remember how boring it is to be like anybody else."That's what David Bowie taught me. To do me. To wear weird shoes if I want. To say things out loud.Really, to live with courage in my convictions, with my heart as my guide.RIP David Bowie. The world will miss your light.
Darlings,Let me tell you just how excited I am tonight. It's Golden Globes night. And although I'm nothing but an entitled cord-cutting millenial (which means I can't watch the show since NBC isn't streaming the show online at all. I have many opinions about their choice not to do it considering NINE shows from Amazon, Netflix and Hulu are nominated and cable has become an epic waste of money.But I digress. I'm sad that I can't watch the show, but let's be real, darlings, what is my favorite part? The red carpet! And I have to tell you, for the first time in a long time, I'm love love loving so much of the carpet. In fact, I think there are more dresses that I have nice things to say about this year than the alternative (although it might be the #goodvibes and adrenaline from Buti tonight - with live drumming).So let's get into it. I'll put the recipes on hold today because, let's be honest, this is so much more important.Let's start at the beginning, because it's a very good place to start.JILL & GABY - In a story of my life, I want these gals somewhere.
My favorite child actress turned amazingly strange indie actress who likes to talk about polarizing items surrounding childbirth (this particular one for whatever reason comes up at least once a week in my normal conversations, I still don't know how I feel about it) and Jill Soloway, who created the groundbreaking "Transparent," but who the New York Times considers just a guest of Gaby's. Get it together NYT, or stop reporting on red carpets and leave it to the pros at NY Mag.Say what you will about these two, and I'm sure the internet will have plenty to say, but I'm in love. I love that they look like I do when I'm out with my girls and we've had a few drinks and we start taking selfies (Duck Face! No serious now! No that new fish mouth face! No serious face again! Pretend we're Kardashians!). I also love that Gaby's whole ensemble is reminiscent of Catherine O'Hara in BeetleJuice, one of my favorite characters in pop culture history.
Anyway. Maybe I'm just projecting because out of pretty much all of the folks on the red carpet tonight, I'd like to roll with these gals. They're beautiful, smart, funny and best of all - they do what they want, they're not hypersexualized (Dear Amy Schumer, we get it) and I mean, also they both have great eyebrows, which is obviously important to me in choosing friends.MAURA TIERNEY - You've changed my mind about strapless.
Darlings, if I have one regret about my wedding - it's my dumb strapless dress. I mean, I was all of 21 and 15 months and although I thought I knew, I really didn't know. Honestly, I hate strapless dresses. I find them to be boring for people who don't know what they like and think things wihtout straps are "Sexy" or "trending." Boo. On most people, a strapless anything looks like sausage casing. Sorry, I'm not sorry. It's the truth. The exception to the rule is usually Gwen Stefani (but isn't she always?!)But look at Maura, beautiful as ever. If you've watched the Affair (you SHOULD be watching darlings), you know that her character isn't necessarily a glamazon. She kills it in slim cut natural fibers, but still makes you believe she's a scorned mother of four. So not glamorous.But I love this look. I love the dusty blue on her light olive skin and i love the refined Bardot makeup, although I could have used just a little more color on the lip. She just looks gorgeous. She looks like a woman. She looks nice. And she looks real. Add her to the list of women I'd like to maybe hang out with. If for nothing more than to understand how she gets her hair to be the most perfect chocolate brown.MELISSA MCCARTHY - YES! YES! YES! 
We've had our ups and downs, Melissa and I. But tonight she could be going to Studio 54. And anytime someone looks like they could be going to 54, I'm usually OK with it.I want this dress. In fact, I need to have this dress. In fact, I will probably make a dress that looks just like this so that I can maybe just wear it everyday for the rest of my life.And also, I can never not love MM (I mean, I can not love some of her looks, because, well, because.) because Sookie.
Although Emily will always be my favorite, a spirit animal if you will.
And speaking of which, we haven't even talked about the Gilmore Girls reboot. I guess there's not much to say except:
I guess at this point in my digression I can't go back and talk about Melissa's dress. But I will say it one more time - I love it.DAGMARA DOMINCYZK - While we're on the topic of sparkly Blue dresses. 
I don't have much to say about this dress except that it also feels like something that belongs in my closet. I also love this woman for her chutzpah when the general public was appalled that someone as handsome as her husband could be at all sexually attracted to Lena Dunham and her "disgusting" body. This gal went to the twitters and basically said "fuck you" to all of society.
So I love her, because I love women who love themselves, and I love women who have muffin tops, because that's where all of the interesting life lessons are.JULIANNE MOORE - ONCE MORE ON THE TOPIC OF SPARKLY BLUE DRESSES. 
Always flawless.Always.THIS IS CARLY CHAIKIN - And this dress is perfect. 
In this light, this dress looks like a globe. You can see the land and the sea and the darkness and the light. And I love it. She's like a black tie mermaid. Even the weird halter is OK with me as it really just lets the dress live up to it's full potential.Her face is killing it.If I were to ever go get my long lusted after lip fillers, I might just bring this picture in as inspiration.
Who does her makeup? I need to know. I love this look. She looks half like she's at an award show and half like she just woke up in DeeDee Ramones room at the Chelsea Hotel. Like Heroin Glam, as opposed to Heroin Chic. Nuanced, I know.This gal was just on Maron, as a co-ed who, shock shock, seduced Marc and had an affair with Adam Goldberg, the narcissistic, gets better looking as he gets older professor. So, yes, the most typical role for a young, beautiful woman to play.But she also looks a lot like Kat Dennings, which makes me think that she's pretty bad-ass. Well that and the fact that wikipedia tells me she has 11 tattoos and is a self taught painter.JUDITH LIGHT - You are blonde and amazing and all the things I want to be. 
In Christine Baranski's absence (WHERE ARE YOU LOCKHART?!), Judith Light wins. She is a blonde goddess who can wear cream satin and silver shoes. She can kill you with but a raise of the eyebrow. She can wear her hair down on the red carpet. She can laugh at all the young ladies and know that they will never be Judith Light. Judith Light who in an incredible defeat of society not only gets more magnificent as she gets older - she also really and truly gets more beautiful as she gets older.There are so many reasons why I love Judith Light. Not least of which is because my mom loves her, and I love my mom. But I also love Judith Light because she is a fighter. She fights for what's right and she fights for what she believes in.But also I love Judith Light because she can wear cream colored satin and silver shoes. And I can't. And she can. And that's that.ALAN CUMMING - He who can do no wrong. 
I feel like even when he wears Crocs on the red carpet (which, thank you for not doing again), I think he is pretty magnificent. I mean, for one, he's a big believer in human rights, which is pretty rare these days.Secondly, he made a movie that re-united Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason Leigh that I watched when I was surely too young to really get it.Thirdly, he was in both Josie and The Pussy Cats AND Spice World, two movies which both fall in the canon of adolescent LCF.And I guess I don't even have to get into the obvious like Cabaret and The Good Wife.And wether he's in plaid, Crocs or anything else, I agree with it. I will always agree with it.OSCAR ISAAC - The Internet's new boyfriend.
Darlings, you know I love a navy tux. It is truly my kryptonite. And Oscar Isaac, the new Star Wars darling is no exception. As the kids might say, "he's sexy and he knows it."And last but not least.TAYLOR & UZO
Darlings,Let me tell you just how excited I am tonight. It's Golden Globes night. And although I'm nothing but an entitled cord-cutting millenial (which means I can't watch the show since NBC isn't streaming the show online at all. I have many opinions about their choice not to do it considering NINE shows from Amazon, Netflix and Hulu are nominated and cable has become an epic waste of money.But I digress. I'm sad that I can't watch the show, but let's be real, darlings, what is my favorite part? The red carpet! And I have to tell you, for the first time in a long time, I'm love love loving so much of the carpet. In fact, I think there are more dresses that I have nice things to say about this year than the alternative (although it might be the #goodvibes and adrenaline from Buti tonight - with live drumming).So let's get into it. I'll put the recipes on hold today because, let's be honest, this is so much more important.Let's start at the beginning, because it's a very good place to start.JILL & GABY - In a story of my life, I want these gals somewhere.My favorite child actress turned amazingly strange indie actress who likes to talk about polarizing items surrounding childbirth (this particular one for whatever reason comes up at least once a week in my normal conversations, I still don't know how I feel about it) and Jill Soloway, who created the groundbreaking "Transparent," but who the New York Times considers just a guest of Gaby's. Get it together NYT, or stop reporting on red carpets and leave it to the pros at NY Mag.Say what you will about these two, and I'm sure the internet will have plenty to say, but I'm in love. I love that they look like I do when I'm out with my girls and we've had a few drinks and we start taking selfies (Duck Face! No serious now! No that new fish mouth face! No serious face again! Pretend we're Kardashians!). I also love that Gaby's whole ensemble is reminiscent of Catherine O'Hara in BeetleJuice, one of my favorite characters in pop culture history.Anyway. Maybe I'm just projecting because out of pretty much all of the folks on the red carpet tonight, I'd like to roll with these gals. They're beautiful, smart, funny and best of all - they do what they want, they're not hypersexualized (Dear Amy Schumer, we get it) and I mean, also they both have great eyebrows, which is obviously important to me in choosing friends.MAURA TIERNEY - You've changed my mind about strapless.Darlings, if I have one regret about my wedding - it's my dumb strapless dress. I mean, I was all of 21 and 15 months and although I thought I knew, I really didn't know. Honestly, I hate strapless dresses. I find them to be boring for people who don't know what they like and think things wihtout straps are "Sexy" or "trending." Boo. On most people, a strapless anything looks like sausage casing. Sorry, I'm not sorry. It's the truth. The exception to the rule is usually Gwen Stefani (but isn't she always?!)But look at Maura, beautiful as ever. If you've watched the Affair (you SHOULD be watching darlings), you know that her character isn't necessarily a glamazon. She kills it in slim cut natural fibers, but still makes you believe she's a scorned mother of four. So not glamorous.But I love this look. I love the dusty blue on her light olive skin and i love the refined Bardot makeup, although I could have used just a little more color on the lip. She just looks gorgeous. She looks like a woman. She looks nice. And she looks real. Add her to the list of women I'd like to maybe hang out with. If for nothing more than to understand how she gets her hair to be the most perfect chocolate brown.MELISSA MCCARTHY - YES! YES! YES! We've had our ups and downs, Melissa and I. But tonight she could be going to Studio 54. And anytime someone looks like they could be going to 54, I'm usually OK with it.I want this dress. In fact, I need to have this dress. In fact, I will probably make a dress that looks just like this so that I can maybe just wear it everyday for the rest of my life.And also, I can never not love MM (I mean, I can not love some of her looks, because, well, because.) because Sookie.Although Emily will always be my favorite, a spirit animal if you will. And speaking of which, we haven't even talked about the Gilmore Girls reboot. I guess there's not much to say except:I guess at this point in my digression I can't go back and talk about Melissa's dress. But I will say it one more time - I love it.DAGMARA DOMINCYZK - While we're on the topic of sparkly Blue dresses. I don't have much to say about this dress except that it also feels like something that belongs in my closet. I also love this woman for her chutzpah when the general public was appalled that someone as handsome as her husband could be at all sexually attracted to Lena Dunham and her "disgusting" body. This gal went to the twitters and basically said "fuck you" to all of society.So I love her, because I love women who love themselves, and I love women who have muffin tops, because that's where all of the interesting life lessons are.JULIANNE MOORE - ONCE MORE ON THE TOPIC OF SPARKLY BLUE DRESSES. Always flawless.Always.THIS IS CARLY CHAIKIN - And this dress is perfect. In this light, this dress looks like a globe. You can see the land and the sea and the darkness and the light. And I love it. She's like a black tie mermaid. Even the weird halter is OK with me as it really just lets the dress live up to it's full potential.Her face is killing it.If I were to ever go get my long lusted after lip fillers, I might just bring this picture in as inspiration.Who does her makeup? I need to know. I love this look. She looks half like she's at an award show and half like she just woke up in DeeDee Ramones room at the Chelsea Hotel. Like Heroin Glam, as opposed to Heroin Chic. Nuanced, I know.This gal was just on Maron, as a co-ed who, shock shock, seduced Marc and had an affair with Adam Goldberg, the narcissistic, gets better looking as he gets older professor. So, yes, the most typical role for a young, beautiful woman to play.But she also looks a lot like Kat Dennings, which makes me think that she's pretty bad-ass. Well that and the fact that wikipedia tells me she has 11 tattoos and is a self taught painter.JUDITH LIGHT - You are blonde and amazing and all the things I want to be. In Christine Baranski's absence (WHERE ARE YOU LOCKHART?!), Judith Light wins. She is a blonde goddess who can wear cream satin and silver shoes. She can kill you with but a raise of the eyebrow. She can wear her hair down on the red carpet. She can laugh at all the young ladies and know that they will never be Judith Light. Judith Light who in an incredible defeat of society not only gets more magnificent as she gets older - she also really and truly gets more beautiful as she gets older.There are so many reasons why I love Judith Light. Not least of which is because my mom loves her, and I love my mom. But I also love Judith Light because she is a fighter. She fights for what's right and she fights for what she believes in.But also I love Judith Light because she can wear cream colored satin and silver shoes. And I can't. And she can. And that's that.ALAN CUMMING - He who can do no wrong. I feel like even when he wears Crocs on the red carpet (which, thank you for not doing again), I think he is pretty magnificent. I mean, for one, he's a big believer in human rights, which is pretty rare these days.Secondly, he made a movie that re-united Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason Leigh that I watched when I was surely too young to really get it.Thirdly, he was in both Josie and The Pussy Cats AND Spice World, two movies which both fall in the canon of adolescent LCF.And I guess I don't even have to get into the obvious like Cabaret and The Good Wife.And wether he's in plaid, Crocs or anything else, I agree with it. I will always agree with it.OSCAR ISAAC - The Internet's new boyfriend.Darlings, you know I love a navy tux. It is truly my kryptonite. And Oscar Isaac, the new Star Wars darling is no exception. As the kids might say, "he's sexy and he knows it."And last but not least.TAYLOR & UZO
I want to be in a one woman show and wear half of each of these and the character I'm playing is dependent on the light I'm in. Also, can I just have both of these? I would wear a sequined tux every Wednesday if I had one. Or everyday even. Honestly.It looks like that's that for the globes this year darlings.I'll be back tomorrow with some thoughts on the movie Chef, because years after it's release, I still think it's shockingly good and a ridiculously simple chicken soup - because darlings, it's that time of the year.xoxolcf