On being a child bride or let's have another wedding

Darlings,Have I ever mentioned how young I was when le hubs and I got married? I'm sure I have.For the circumstances we were under - I had just turned 22, was still in college, had known le hubs less than a year, had less than a year to plan it and was completely dependent on other people to help it come to life - I would say that we did a really great job and would also say that it was an amazing indicator of how much support our family and friends would shower us with in the future.Needless to say, we were the first of our friends to get married, so even though we thought we knew what we were doing, we had no idea.And now, eight years later when all of our friends are finally getting hitched, I have to say that there are a few things that the (almost) 30 year old me would do much differently than the child bride me. Some are superficial, some more serious:

1. The Dress
2. The Hair/Makeup
3. The Music
4. The decor
5. The ettiquette
6. The photos

Look, darlings, I'm not saying that I regret any of it and am entirely grateful to all of wonderful family and friends who probably thought we were fucking crazy but helped us throw together a wedding anyway, all I'm saying is that in the immortal words of The Faces, I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELQOnEgzt-II also know that this probably sounds incredibly bratty, so I did talk about this with le hubs before deciding to write it. And of course, le hubs says, "I wouldn't change a thing," because he is a much better and less superficial person that I. 

1. The Dress

2. The Hair / Makeup3. The Music

If we could do it over, I would hire a big band. Not exactly The Bosstones, but a band with lots of horns, lots of energy and a gruff lead singer. All in suits. All cute enough to go home with any one of the bridesmaids.Maybe The Bosstones, a normal Wedding big band and a kind of Reggae-ska situation combined. And they should also have their own interpretations of all of our favorite songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0HelXsSSRshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtcMCRDyi3A 4. The DecorI blame myself for this entirely. I was overwhelmed with life and didn't do a good job of visualizing what I wanted or needed to make the room great.If we had to do it over, it would be gilded. A life together should always start gilded - the best possible way to look at things.We had a blank canvas and I kind of whiffed on utilizing it to it's fullest potential. We got married where we met and I have always felt remorse for not making more of that.I wouldn't change our flowers - pink spray roses, with rosemary and ivy. They were perfect.

The day you are a bride is the day you are supposed to look like the most amazing of your young self. The self that has the whole world ahead of you. I mean really - it's the day you get to look like a princess.You need a real photographer to tell you when to smile and when not to smile, you need a real photographer to tell you when to put your chin up or bring it down. And you need a real photographer to tell you that the bitchy rest face that you were born with needs to disappear today.Aside from point #6, this is what will always make me the most sad about our wedding - that I don't have a photo from that day that is special enough to frame in an expensive frame and put on display in our home. It's heartbreaking to me._________________________________________________I think that anyone who gets married so young will tell you that the things they would change about their weddings are just indicative of the growing pains of life. Your twenties are entirely formative in a different way. I had no idea that was the case. I thought I knew everything.When I look back, do I wish that I had a dress that I liked more? Yes. But what I wish I could change the most are the things that aren't so tactile. Not asking my parents to speak, not addressing my religion and not being as gracious as I would have liked to have been.Most importantly though is the fact that I don't regret the product of the wedding - our marriage. Getting married young is full of wrought. You know, you start life together, which is amazing, but you also start life together not really knowing who you are or what you want. But you also get to experience so much with that one person that you've chosen. You share so many stories, so many tears and so much inexplicable understanding of each other.We got married almost 8 years ago and I hope that in a few years we'll get to have a do-over, to fill it with our collective friends, the people who have been such an amazing part of our lives for so many years, with speeches from everyone, with gilded everything, and of course with a dress with sleeves.xoxolcf